Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Thank-you Notes

I have always been expected to write thank-you notes for gifts from family, and carried that on to engagement and wedding gifts. Thankfully, my husband helped me with the myriad of notes from our wedding gifts as we did a system of 3 per day.
I have passed that obligation of a written thank-you on to my daughter. Incentives have been varied: only open the gift if you write the note that day; not able to use/play with the gift until the note is written, and, of course, there has been bribery. It seemed to be a good way for her to learn to write notes, in complete sentences with coherent thoughts. My sister and cousin have been sticklers with their sons to do notes.
Sadly, others have not continued the courtesy of a note. Often I don't even know if the gift was even received. I have sworn many times that I wouldn't send a gift if I had not heard from that person on a previous gift. But then, on Dr. Laura one day, I heard her ask a caller, "Do you send the gift just to get a note or because it is the right thing to do?" I thought I may be petty.
But, I am now, several years later, invoking a new rule: if I don't get a note (or call even, or an email) from the recipient, there will be no more gifts. Simple as that; if you are so rude as to not express gratitude, I am not sending another one. I am not a schmuck.

The following article is such a perfect description of why a note is done, and how to do it right.